Today Ben went for a follow up appointment with Dr.Cogswell. Ben has been doing well (in my opinion). He is eating and sleeping well. We haven`t had any problems managing his airway or caring for him. We have all kinds of appointments set up for him and I thought things were going well.
When Ben was weighed...his weight is down...again. I don`t know what else to do! I am already staying awake most nights so I can wake and feed him. I may order a scale to have at the house so I can monitor his weight a bit better. Obviously I am not doing so well at it at the moment. The doctor mentioned supplementing the pumped breast milk with formula.
While we will supplement his feeds, I honestly just want to cry. It is bad enough I can`t breastfeed ( in the true sense of the term breastfeeding anyway) but now to know the milk he is getting from me isn`t good enough just adds insult to injury.
I have nothing against formula and formula feeding. It just isn`t for me. Breastfeeding isn`t for everyone and that`s fine. I think it should be a choice made that is right for parent(s) and baby. I, however, did not get a choice this time and I am having a hard time getting past it.
Ben will be seen again on Tuesday for a weight check. Hopefully his weight will be up a bit. Today has been a bad day....I am trying to keep optimistic but I think my optimistic meter is broken. All I see is this ending in poor Ben having the NG tube again and even worse ending up back in hospital.
*SIGH* Here is to tomorrow being a better day!
1 comment:
Erin, you must be made of steel. You have got to be the best Mom in the world. I think about you every day. I am sure everyone is pulling for you at this difficult time. Here,s wishing you all the best. You have a beautiful family. Love Judy
Post a Comment