One really bad day....

Today was not a good day...no not because it was Monday...that didn't help but that wasn't the reason. Work was insane...nothing made it better. I got an email this morning that just upset me and I couldn't stop running the contents through my mind all day. It shouldn't have upset me but it did. I have been hypersensitive to everything. Because I was preoccupied it seemed I couldn't do anything right. I felt like a screw up, and today I was a screw up.
Seven years ago my pappy passed away. He had lung cancer and it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to watch. I never really got over it and I don't think I ever will.
In a previous post back in July I mentioned a friends failing health. I had a hard time dealing with it then and his decline was steady. Turns out he had a type of bone marrow cancer. This morning he lost the fight and passed away. I have no idea why I am having so many issues coming to terms with it. Perhaps it is because it was less than a year from diagnosis to now. Honestly I don't know.
I am also feeling incredibly guilty...today was my grandmothers 85Th birthday. I didn't get out to see her. I did get to call her but it isn't the same. I know she understood that I had to work and everything else was insane. Still I feel like I let her down. I let me down.

I am glad this day is over...well glad yesterday is over...I hope today is better.

Life is too short

This has been a hard week.


Friends of mine who have been married for 12 years were divorced this week. This was a couple that you never would have thought would have gotten divorced. It really makes me question relationships after this.


I found out that a long time family friend, whom we have travelled with south numerous years has been given less than a year to live. His decline happened so fast I am not really sure I can accurately wrap my head around it. He had a cold when we went south but it just seemed like a really bad cold. When he got home the discovered how sick he really was and his decline in health has been steady since then. On Canada day, while at the cottage, his wife told us of the prognosis and to be honest it really shocked me.


I also found out that one of my good friends from my school days almost died this past week. He was in really rough shape and if it wasn't for his brother he wouldn't have made it. I was really upset over that last night.

That really was the bulk of the bad/hard news...while none of it happened to me, nor was it about me it made me stop and think and look at my own life. I don't think enough of us truly appreciate what we have until its gone. I am going to be taking a long hard look at my life and making some changes.