Today was not a good day...no not because it was Monday...that didn't help but that wasn't the reason. Work was insane...nothing made it better. I got an email this morning that just upset me and I couldn't stop running the contents through my mind all day. It shouldn't have upset me but it did. I have been hypersensitive to everything. Because I was preoccupied it seemed I couldn't do anything right. I felt like a screw up, and today I was a screw up.
Seven years ago my pappy passed away. He had lung cancer and it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to watch. I never really got over it and I don't think I ever will.
In a previous post back in July I mentioned a friends failing health. I had a hard time dealing with it then and his decline was steady. Turns out he had a type of bone marrow cancer. This morning he lost the fight and passed away. I have no idea why I am having so many issues coming to terms with it. Perhaps it is because it was less than a year from diagnosis to now. Honestly I don't know.
I am also feeling incredibly guilty...today was my grandmothers 85Th birthday. I didn't get out to see her. I did get to call her but it isn't the same. I know she understood that I had to work and everything else was insane. Still I feel like I let her down. I let me down.
I am glad this day is over...well glad yesterday is over...I hope today is better.
1 comment:
I knew you were having a bad day...why didn't you say something when I was at the house I would have stayed.
I will be in tomorrow. I'll take you out for supper if you want. Call my cell tonight if you need anything.
**HUG***
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