Here we are...Day one post op and in the PICU.
Yesterday was long and hard. It was a day of waiting. Parts of the day flew by....others went on forever....I will update as best I can, but I am spending most of my day sat by Ben's bed in the PICU.
Ben's pre op stuff was completed up on PMU and at 0955 nurses Lisa and Katie walked Ben and I downstairs to the operating theaters. Ashley stayed in the 7link playroom with Harrison. Harry knew something was up and didn't like it. He needed either daddy or mommy in his sights at all times.
Once downstairs I was taken through a labyrinth of locking doors to the preop area. We were placed in cubical 5 and began waiting. Dr Belowzy came in first with 2 residents and gave us one last presurgery pep talk. He told me Ben looked so much bigger and stronger than even the last time he saw him. I honestly didn't take in much. I was too concerned with hugging and cuddling Ben while I could. Playing with his hair and trying desperately to remember what he looked like, even though I could still see him.
Dr. Hong was in next. The theater was being cleaned and set up and once ready they would let us know. He also gave a little pep talk on how he anticipated things to go well but again I just wasn't in a place to take in much new information.
Dr. Wright our anesthetist came in and he and a resident went over all the things we went through the other day.
Eventually after 45 minutes of waiting the OR nurse came in and confirmed the consent they had on file was in fact what I had signed and that I knew what I signed. She placed the consent on the front of Ben's chart. She returned moments later with Dr. Wright to take Ben. Ben slept the whole time. I was able to carry him to the last set of locking doors before his operating theater. I handed him over and watched them walk away. I was left holding his blanket like he was still wrapped up in it.
I held it together until I got outside the green elevators to go back to 7th floor alone. I cried...a lot. I managed to get it together until I was back on 7th and saw Ashley, Harrison and Jackie (our social worker) and I started crying again. For the first little bit I walked around like a moron, holding onto Ben's blanket. It still smelled like him and I just didn't want to let it go.
The rest of the day was horribly long. Hours went by and no updates. We walked Harrison up and down the halls, had showers and packed up.
Finally by 1:30pm we got an update that the bronchoscopy was done and one side of his jaw surgery had been completed. The social worker was trying to get me a room so I could stay on site and be close to Ben but that room wasn't available yet.
By 4pm still nothing. No more updates. Nothing. Time had stopped as far as we were concerned. My mobile phone had gone wrong so the charge nurse, Linda, found me a pager. The thing was HUGE! It literally looked like it was from 1982! Anyway we went to get a tea and were paged back. The surgeons were done and ready to talk to us.
4:30pm Dr. Hong and Dr. Belowzy gave us the news that Ben's surgery went well. For such a small little guy his bone mass was good and the surgery went as well as they could have hoped. The bronchoscopy was essentially normal as well. They warned us the incision sites would look a bit odd and that there was some blood seeping from around the external hardware. It would be about an hour before he would be stabilized in the PICU and we could see him.
5:00pm We moved our things down to my new room right outside the PICU and waited some more to see Ben.
Just before 6:00pm we were able to go into the PICU and see Ben. He looks so tiny. He is laying on a big bed. The doctors have him pharmacologically paralyzed and will for the next few days. He is on a whole host of pain and anti anxiety medications. He has an IV for hydration and is receiving antibiotics to prevent infection. He is on a ventilator, and all his vitals are being monitored on three different monitors. He has a catheter in place and he is so pale.
The hardware is so tiny. I am not sure what I was expecting but it is smaller than I thought it would be. The site is still seeping blood but doesn't look to bad. His swelling wasn't too bad but we were be warned that it will more than likely get worse.
Late last night and overnight the nurses were having trouble maintaining a good blood pressure on Ben. They have adjusted his pain and sedation medications as he also seemed a bit too sedated.
He is now receiving and infusion of Albumin to help with his blood pressure along with more fluids. His urine output is not what it should be and the PICU doctor is looking at starting Lasix as the swelling has increased a fair bit. The poor little man doesn't really look like Ben at the minute.
Dr. Hong came in and started advancing the jaw this morning. Ahead of what was planned but it was a very slight movement. The hope is over the next 48hours they will try to extubate if Ben is otherwise medically stable. Right now everything is wait and see. Hopefully in 5-7 days we will see an improvement.
I am heading back to the PICU once I post this. His little spot is at least bright as it is by the window. It at least offers a change of scenery from being glued to one of his three monitors.
We are back where everything beeps, respires or alarms. Things aren't as "busy" as the NICU but the "busy" is replaced with quiet urgency and our waiting game continues.
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